Beyonce Jokes

What's the difference between Beyonce and a shopping bag?

A shopping bag can carry a child.

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What do you call a heavy punch from Beyonce?

A Sasha Fierce!

Why Beyonce?

Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights...

What does Beyonce bake her cookies on?

Aluminatti foil

Why does Beyonce sing "To the left, to the left?

Because black people have no rights

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they got married?

Feyonce

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they were married?

Fiancee

Why is Beyonce always singing about going "To the left"?

Because women have no rights.

What if you go missing?

How do you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on Facebook.

How will future generations contact Beyonce's ghost?

They'll hold a Beyonceance.

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce after they got engaged?

Fiancee.

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Why does Beyonce sing, "To the left, to the left!"?

Because black women have no rights.

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage?

Feyonce

Why does Beyonce sing the song "to the left"?

Because black people have no rights...

Why does Beyonce say "To the left, to the left"?

Because black people have no rights.

What do you get if you encase Beyonce in rubber and drop her off a cliff?

Bouncy Beyonce.

What did Jay Z say to Beyonce after having an ice cream shoved up his arse?

I'm feeling a bit sorbet.

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Fiance Jokes More Fiance Jokes

What did the Mexican girl say to her fiance?

You're the Juan!

What do you tell a fiance with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What's next - people marrying dogs?

nervous glance at dog Dog: Frank, we've been over this. I like you as a friend

Why didn't the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe...

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call a hillbilly giraffe that lives in a trailer and drinks beer all day?

A rednnnnnneeeeeeeccccccccckkkkkk.

Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

Because it was a government job.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries

Singe Jokes More Singe Jokes

What is the difference between a tire and a black man?

The tire doesn't start singing when you chain it.

Which computer is the best at singing?

A Dell.

Half Time Jokes More Half Time Jokes

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?

The cookie!

Why'd the cookie go to the hospital?

It was feeling a little crumby.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, " ....I'll leave now.

What'd Gandhi say when his friend told him to leave the protest?

Na 'ma ste