What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What did the dog take when he was run down?

The license number of the car that hit him.

What goes "krab krab krab"?

A: A dog barking in a mirror.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why is The Hulk going to get laid tonight?

Because he is stronger than you.

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What superhero would a (insert stereotype here) man be?

Batman. Why Because he can't go out at night without Robin!

What did the mermaid do last Saturday night?

She went out with the tide.

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

How does an atheist start their prayers?

To Whom It May Concern

What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party?

A cross-dresser.

Insomniac Jokes More Insomniac Jokes

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night, wondering if there is a dog.

Contemplate Jokes More Contemplate Jokes

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?

A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.

Existence Jokes More Existence Jokes

How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

What's the most bitter tea in existence?

Reality *cries in the corner*