What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What kind of dog do IT people prefer?

A Dobie

What separates dogs and Mexicans?

The Mexican said, "A border".

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?

Gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by a chick.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel.

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What does a philosopher put his/her food on?

A contemplate

How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well it depends on what you mean by change.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder?

Banging your best friend's wife every night!

What is someone who takes drugs?

What is someone who drinks What hit you in the face last night

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

Why can't atheists solve exponential problems?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They don't believe in a higher power.

Insomniac Jokes More Insomniac Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Contemplate Jokes More Contemplate Jokes

Why was the cab driver contemplating his life?

Because he had nothing to chauffeur.

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

Existence Jokes More Existence Jokes

Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense ?

You are the banner of my existence.

What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.