Jack O Jokes

Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts!

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How do you mend a jack-o-lantern?

A: With a pumpkin patch.

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Pump Jokes More Pump Jokes

How do red necks celebrate Halloween?

Pump kin

How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts?

LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!"

Kin Jokes More Kin Jokes

What does a West Virginia couple do on Halloween?

They pump kin.

Why are jack-o-lanterns inbred?

because they pump-kin

O Jokes More O Jokes

Why is the O in Opossum silent?

Because it's playing dead.

What has two O's and fires?

A double-vowel shotgun.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the school yard?

To get to the other slide!

What do you get if you cross a newsreader and a toad ?

A croaksman !

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What does an unborn fetus and a tube of toothpaste have in common?

Neither of them can be used as functional tables.

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

How do you fix a broken chimp?

A: With a monkeywrench.

Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems?

He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

Mend Jokes More Mend Jokes

What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending?

I can't find the twine.

What did the emu say to the nurse?

A: Mend her bones or walk the plank

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

He couldn't pull out of the chicken

Why did the headless chicken cross the road?

Cause he was supposed to be-headed to the other side