Leftover Jokes

What do you call half a kitten?

Leftovers

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What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

How did Saddam deal with his leftovers?

He used sarin wrap

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Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

How did the hipster die?

He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why was my other pillow jealous?

Because I like to sleep around.

What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically?

Tsar-Chasm

Saddam Jokes More Saddam Jokes

How did Saddam deal with his leftovers?

He used sarin wrap

Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?

A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What bait do you use to catch a space fish?

A worm hole

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss?

I literally cannot deal.

What did the mods say when they found me giving Reddit gold to my alt account?

He who smelt it, dealt it.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

What's a dentist's favorite time of day?

Tooth-hurty I'll show myself out

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What has 2 legs and bleeds?

Half a dog.

How do you tie two half ducks together?

with ducktape!!

Thanksgive Jokes More Thanksgive Jokes

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?

KFC isnt open on holidays.

Why don't blacks celebrate thanksgiving?

It's hard to be thankful when KFC is closed