Nfl Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

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What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Why would Keemstar make a good NFL cornerback?

He's really good at swatting.

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?

Getting hit by Rice

What do the NFL and Jail have in common?

You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.

What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL?

The Jets.

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common?

They all have the same PR guy.

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

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What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common?

Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.

Who's the nicest player in the NFL?

Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?

Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown

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Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?

A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

What's the difference between a shopping cart and a radical feminist?

A shopping cart will, on occasion, exhibit a mind of it's own

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

How do you start a rave in Uganda?

Tape a slice of bread to the ceiling

Why was the marshmallow stuck to the tree?

It was taped.

Ray Rice Wife Jokes More Ray Rice Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?

A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Why did the Mexican throw his wife over the cliff?

Tequila

Blind Jokes More Blind Jokes

Why don't blind people go sky diving?

It freaks out the dogs!

How do you blind an Asian?

Put a windshield in front of them

Insurance Company Jokes More Insurance Company Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend?

He dates his other sister.

What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Young Brother Jokes More Young Brother Jokes

What do you call a North Korean Gorilla?

King Kong Un (From my younger brother).

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)