Record Jokes

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space . (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

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What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

Where does Phil Collins record all of his music?

The stu-stu-studio.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

What do you call a Korean with a dog?

vegetarian. For the record, I'm Korean and have a dog haha.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

How do birds record their songs ?

On duck tape !

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

Who's Gotye?

while their kids were like, "What's a record

Who are you?

You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record

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What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

What's all this?

Bracken: Well you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson Tammy Wynette and Garth Brooks . . .

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

Why do brown women wear red dots on their heads?

Because they record everything. (I swear I made it up n I'm brown too)

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Lack Jokes More Lack Jokes

Why was the dolphin so upset with the attendance of his drunken kegger?

It lacked porpoise.

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

Mike Tyson Jokes More Mike Tyson Jokes

What's got four legs and no ears?

A: Mike Tyson's dog.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

What do you call a Chinese man with a pet cat?

A vegetarian.

What was the cannibal's favorite part about the Vegetarian dish?

The Vegetarian

Darth Vader Jokes More Darth Vader Jokes

How did Darth Vader cross the street?

Ewoked.

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

Faith Jokes More Faith Jokes

How did I clear papers of Islamic Studies?

Have faith, don't question.

What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?

They've both put their faith in the cloud.

Video Jokes More Video Jokes

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and the iPhone 4s?

There are no videos of Mike Tyson.

Whats the difference between men and women when watching video?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. usually has a completely different meaning.

Germany Jokes More Germany Jokes

Why did Germany lose WW2?

Three Reichs and you're out

How many goals did Germany score?

A brazillian