Regulate Jokes

How do you persuade the US Senate to regulate the laws on guns?

Put them inside a woman's body.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers?

The Elf and Saftey Executive.

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

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Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Which is the most communist vegetable?

The soviet Onion

What do you get when you cross a lima bean with a Soviet?

A Lenintil...

Brain Jokes More Brain Jokes

What do you call a man who loves a woman for her brains?

A zombie.

What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?

The wall behind him.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

I bought the Groupon but can't make it :(

Which gun does Superman use?

SCAR-L

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

What do you call a midget psychiatrist on the run from the law?

A small medium at large.

What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law?

You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.

Welfare Jokes More Welfare Jokes

What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers?

The Elf and Saftey Executive.

What do you call someone from Olomouc who's living on the dole?

A welfare Czech.

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

What does a neckbeard tip his fedora to in soviet russia?

M'otherland"

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops after 3 Ho's

Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st?

Because Santa came early this year.

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

What if we need to hide bodies?

Me: I love you.

How many bodies do you have buried there?

My attempts at small talk.