Sergeant Jokes

Why are sergeants so successful in physical contests?

Three stripes, you rout.

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What did the sergeant say to the corporal?

I need to see your privates.

How are tigers like sergeants in the army ?

They both wear stripes !

What did the cop do when his Sergeant did not grant him the vacation he requested?

Shot a black man.

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Dentist Jokes More Dentist Jokes

Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth?

Because it was accidental.

Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist?

Because they fought both tooth and nail!

Private Jokes More Private Jokes

Why did the drill sergeant get a dishonorable discharge?

He couldn't keep his hands off his privates

What did the sergeant say to the corporal?

I need to see your privates.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

How much have you had to drink?

Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel

Drill Sergeant Jokes More Drill Sergeant Jokes

Why did the carpenter join the army?

Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant

What do you call a dentist in the army ?

A drill sergeant !

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What kind of body do you want to have?

ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human

Why does my computer always ask me if I'm "sure" about stuff?

Yes, I want to delete my hard drive.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?

I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost

How much money do terrible movies make?

Ridley Scott. Thank you.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3. ?

4. Prophet.

What do you call a carpenter who needs fewer nails?

Jesus

Request Jokes More Request Jokes

Why didn't the NSA request AT&ampT's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Why are the citizens of Damascus so solemn when talking about oil?

A: Because it's Syria's business. (cross-post from by request)