Stalker Jokes

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?"

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What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?

ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!

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Dave Grohl Jokes More Dave Grohl Jokes

What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his Greek sandwich?

There goes my gyro

Why did Dave Grohl buy such a tall house?

He wanted to make sure he was getting the best, the best, the best, the best-a view.

Vest Jokes More Vest Jokes

What did the police officer say to his stomach?

I've got you under a vest.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

House Jokes More House Jokes

When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house ?

When the door is open !

What's the difference between former House Speakers Hastert and Pelosi?

Pelosi helped little boys. Hastert banged little boys.

Season Jokes More Season Jokes

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

What's the worst part about season 1 of Lost?

The episode.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Santa and a black man?

Santa stops after the third Ho

Whats the difference between a hippie on fire and a lifetime supply of patchouli?

I don't wish for a lifetime supply every time I smell patchouli.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?

Exchange him.

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Who is the coolest guy at the hospital?

The ultra sound guy. And who covers when hes off sick The hip replacement guy.

Why was the peanut rushed to the hospital?

He was a"salted"