Statistician Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

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What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes?

Discreet uniform distribution

Whats a statisticians favourite S Club 7 song?

Reach For The **Stats**.

Who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life?

A statistician.

How do you know statisticians are always serious?

They mean what they say.

What do you call a statistician watching a bull fight?

A mathador.

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Why is Friday the best day of the week?

Its the 5/7 day of the week

What u call 10 black people in the back of a truck?

A good days hunting.

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Why did Eminem make a terrible barista?

Because he kept insisting everyone only get one shot.

Why do melons insist on having big weddings?

Because they just cantaloupe.

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What is the best way to hunt bear?

With your clothes off

How's my hair?

My clothes How do I look (knock, knock) He's here!!!! I'm so excited! *My pizza delivery guy.

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Why did the skydiver die before reaching the ground?

Because he reached terminal velocity.

How do you know a joke isn't a repost?

When it doesn't reach the front page.

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How would you define yourself?

ME: *don't let her know you're a delicious chocolate cake* Moist

What did the creepy scientist say to his new creepy wife?

Let's grow MOLD together!

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How do you leave a bunch of idiots in suspense?

I'll tell you guys tomorrow

What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline?

I'll tell you tomorrow

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What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista

What do you call a quadruple amputee trying to swim?

Bob. Same guy laying on the floor Matt. Same guy hanging on the wall Art. Same guy in a mailbox Bill.

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What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a barrel?

with a blender. How do you get them out? With a straw.