Taxi Jokes

How does a german get to the airport?

He heils a taxi!

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Why don't taxi drivers talk to each other?

They already know everything.

How do you get to Carnegie Hall?

take a taxi

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's trying to get home?

A taxi

When are you going to learn to drive?

I don't think they feel very safe in my taxi.

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Taxi Driver Jokes More Taxi Driver Jokes

Why don't taxi drivers talk to each other?

They already know everything.

What do programmers and taxi drivers have in common?

They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Who thought blowing out candles on a cake was a good tradition?

Ah yes wax would go well with this cake and you know what else Child spit.

What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?

A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.

German Jokes More German Jokes

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. We are efficient and don't like humour.

What do you call a German barber?

Herr Kutz (This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves?

Rustle

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

What's grey stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet ?

An elephant with an umbrella !

What's White &amp Gooey and Rains Down From the Sky?

The coming of the Lord.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

What do blacks and bikes have in common?

They both stop working when you take their chains off. Edit: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America. By the way, got this from AskReddit.

Summon Jokes More Summon Jokes

What do you call a black man that summons the dead?

A Nergomancer

How do you summon a wizard taxi?

CABRACADABRA!

Programmer Jokes More Programmer Jokes

Why are programmers so consumeristic?

Because they're object oriented.

What state did the programmer start her road trip in?

Maine