Teddy Bear Jokes

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Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

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What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig ?

A teddy boar !

What do teddy bears like to have in their houses?

A: Fur-niture.

Why do you never see a Teddy bear ordering dessert?

Cus they are always stuffed.

What did the teddy bear say after dinner?

I'm stuffed."

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

How do you hire a teddy bear?

Put him on stilts !

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How do you hire a teddy bear?

Put him on stilts !

Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

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What does Joe Biden say as he is leaving his house?

Biden

Why does Beyonce sing, "To the left, to the left!"?

Because black women have no rights.

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Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

Stilt Jokes More Stilt Jokes

How do you hire a teddy bear?

Put him on stilts !

How do you go about hiring a horse?

Try two pairs of stilts!

Offer Jokes More Offer Jokes

Why are Russians so heartless?

Because organ traders offer good price.

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?

Thanks I'll just have a sliver !

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do cops do at a buffet?

They pig out.

Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?

Because he kept running out of the pen.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

How does batman order his iced water?

Can I get that..Just ice"

Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?

They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the Mexican say when his house collapsed on him?

Hey, get off me homes !

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.