Truth Jokes

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

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Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

What does the Fox say?

The truth is out there.

What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

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When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?

when his hand caught fire!!

How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What is the slogan of the Mormon Church?

We don't care how you bring 'em, just Brigham Young."

Who does first?

Who dies first? No one cares. :/

Brand Jokes More Brand Jokes

How can we take our branding to the next level?

BUZZ LIGHTYEAR: I have an idea...

What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

Consequence Jokes More Consequence Jokes

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why did the tennis player get her radio taken away?

People said she was making too much of a racket.

How are crayons like people?

The white ones are usually pretty pointless

Stephen King Jokes More Stephen King Jokes

What is a geeks favorite horror novel?

Information Technology by Stephen King

What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator?

from Stephen King - The Cell)

White House Jokes More White House Jokes

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

What do you call a person in the White House who is honest, intelligent, and law-abiding?

A tourist.

Darren Wilson Jokes More Darren Wilson Jokes

What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.

What's the difference between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson?

Only one of them knows how to dodge a bullet.