Pinocchio Jokes

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

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Why is pinocchio so good in the bedroom?

He nose what he's doing

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Why was Pinocchio acting drunk?

He couldn't handle his lacquer

Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?

Both want to be real boys

How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?

when his hand caught fire!!

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Pinocchio?

Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy.

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

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Why was Cinderella kicked out of Walt Disney World?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to start telling lies.

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty?

He caught on fire.

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Where is Pinocchio's website?

On the splinternet.

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal?

He wasn't cut out for this.

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Pinocchio Face Jokes More Pinocchio Face Jokes

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!

Why was Cinderella kicked out of Walt Disney World?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to start telling lies.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

They won't stop to ask for directions.

What did the llama say when asked to a picnic?

Alpaca lunch!

Raggedy Anne Jokes More Raggedy Anne Jokes

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

What does Rupert the Bear and Jack the Ripper have in common?

Same middle name!

Rudolph Jokes More Rudolph Jokes

Why did the kids not receive presents for Christmas?

Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...

What did the reindeer wear to protect itself while Santa was watering the garden?

Rudolph's red hose rain gear...

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?"

What do bees say to psych themselves up at the start of their day?

Leeeeeetttttssss get rrrrrrrrrready to Buuuuuuummmmmmmmmmbbbbbbllllllleeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!"

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory?

He didn't like being spoken to in that voice

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo

How do you catch a rabbit?

You hide in a field and make carrot noises.