Venus Jokes

Why are there no nightclubs on Venus?

They shut down because they had a toxic atmosphere

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What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon?

The 'mons of Venus.

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

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Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What did the cat say when I shut him in the refridgerator?

I don't know, I couldn't hear him through the door.

How does a Muslim shut a door?

Islams it.

Tennis Jokes More Tennis Jokes

What do you call a chicken that can play tennis?

A Henman.

Why does Ellen Pao play so much tennis?

Its the only place she can get love.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you call an animal with a long neck and a love for oranges?

A Jiraffa.

What was the problem?

ME: The packing implied that there would be a family that loves me inside the tent

Nightclub Jokes More Nightclub Jokes

Why are there no nightclubs on Venus?

They shut down because they had a toxic atmosphere

Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

Bad Gas Jokes More Bad Gas Jokes

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

What do you call a cowboy with a case of bad gas?

Darn tootin'! (this is so dumb im sorry)

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ?

A computer with a lot of bites !

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

What do you call the baseball team made out of Pokemon?

The New York Mankeys!

What do you call a Pokemon who is trying to quit smoking?

Vaporeon

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

Who's there ! Czech ! Czech who ?

Czech before you open the door !