How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly someone into a wood chipper.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why can't you tell when a pterodactyl is going to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma?

I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the throwing star say when I asked her if she could hit her target?

Of course, I'm shuriken.

What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

I'm stumped."

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What word begins with M and ends in arriage and is a mans favourite thing?

A: Miscarriage This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

What's another word for "thesaurus"?

Steven Wright joke, iirc.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

What did the physicist have for lunch?

Fission chips.

What did the physicist say to the depressed hippy?

There's no such thing as negative energy"

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both like a good, tight seal.

Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached?

Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'