Plumber Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

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How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

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How much does a plumber make in an hour?

It depends on how much crack he can produce.

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

How do you upset a plumber?

Kidnap his princess.

Whats a Plumber's favorite vegetable?

A Leek!

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both like a good, tight seal.

What vegetables do plumbers hate the most?

Leeks

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?

Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached?

Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels

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You need to cul de sac.

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What word is always spelled wrong?

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Why did the bike fall over?

It was too tired

Why did the fish fall off it's bike?

It's a fish.

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What's the difference between a truckload of sand and a truckload of babies?

You can't unload sand with pitchforks.

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What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

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Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

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What does grandma's crotch smell like?

Depends

Where do senior citizens often go to the restroom?

Depends.