How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why I'm Breaking Up With You" Him: Wait, what the--?

Me: Please hold all questions until the end.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What happens when a pirate turns 60?

He joins AARP

What turns you on the most?

Water. It makes me wet instantly.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What does Joe Biden say as he is leaving his house?

Biden

What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims?

House blend.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

Whats the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

It only takes 1 nail to hang the painting.

1000 Jokes More 1000 Jokes

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

What do you call 1000 heavily armed lesbians?

A. Militia Etheridge

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

How does someone pay for a painting?

With Monet

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?

Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box !

Brush Jokes More Brush Jokes

What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed?

Brush their teeth!

What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush?

You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.

Pollock Jokes More Pollock Jokes

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

How did the pollock die raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.