1000 Jokes

What do you call a black guy surrounded by 1000 white people?

Mr.President

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What do you call 1000 emo kids at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

What's the difference between a Lambo and 1,000 dead babies?

I dont have a Lambo in my Garage...

How British is Adele ?

She would call you at least 1000 times to tell how sorry she is .

How do you get 1000 dead babies into the bed of a pickup truck?

A blender! How do you get them out? Nacho chips!

What do you have when you have 1000 whites skydiving?

Oil

What do you call 1000 lesbians with guns?

Militia Etheridge

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

What do you call 1000 aches?

A .

What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semi-automatic guns?

Militia Etheridge.

What is 1000 laughs called?

A gigglehert

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What do you call 1000 heavily armed lesbians?

A. Militia Etheridge

How do you get 1000 cows into a barn ?

hold a bingo !!

Why were there only 1000 people at the Million Mexican March?

They only had 2 trucks.

Why do people want attention of 1000 pies?

because it's their sen-pais

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

What do you call 1000 black people buried up to their necks?

Afroturf Also, I'm not racist. I have two color tvs at home.

What do you call 1000 soldiers with no legs?

An army.

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a ferrari?

I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

How many photos of Kanye West do you suppose Kanye West has on his phone?

More than 1,000

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

What do you get when 1000 politicians have an idea?

A dim light.

What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?

they only had 2 trucks

What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa?

A good start.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

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Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

Conditioner Gordon.

How much is a $1,000,000 Bill worth?

Nothing! You can't use it anywhere!

British Jokes More British Jokes

What do you get when you mix T and C?

Angry British people!

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

Where do you think you're going at this hour?

gun hangs head & turns around

Why do gangsters turn their guns to the side?

So their hats are right side up when they go to aim.

Nacho Jokes More Nacho Jokes

What do you call a Mexican drowning in a vat of cheese?

Nacho problem.

What do you call cheese that's not yours ?

Nacho cheese

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a redwood and a dead baby?

A redwood won't fit in a wood chipper.

What is the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A BMW's pricks are on the inside!

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but only if the lightbulb really to change.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Juan (This probably has been posted earlier but is still funny )

Surround Jokes More Surround Jokes

Why are cemeteries surrounded with walls?

Because people are dying to get in there.

Why do burgers laugh when you surround them with pickles?

Who knows - maybe they're picklish!