What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How do you make a Snowman smile?

Tell him the snowblower is coming.

What is the definition of a will?

C'mon. It's a dead giveaway.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell an X chromosome from a Y chromosome?

Pull down its genes.

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)

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What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love?

Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl

What vegetables do plumbers hate the most?

Leeks

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."

What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble?

Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville.

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What's the definition of irony?

An incongruity between expectation and result.

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

Why can't you give bad news to someone on the Moon?

It lacks gravity.

Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because bad news travels fast!

Panda Bear Jokes More Panda Bear Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

What goes Black-White, Black-White, Black-White?

A panda bear rolling down a hill.