What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did the tv say to the remote control?

you turn me on"

How do you turn German beer into American Beer?

Drink it

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?

Cashews.

What kind... What kind of vitamins pirates take?

Vitamin "D".

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What's the difference between a cook and a homo?

Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems?

He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

How do you fix a car in India?

Get Atul to do it.

9 Year Old Jokes More 9 Year Old Jokes

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

What has ten letters and starts with gas?

flatulence"

Which letter of the alphabet is the laziest?

letter G (lethargy)

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What did the DNA say to the mRNA?

I'm better without U."

What u doing later?

Wife: That's not what I meant by pick up my towel. Just hand it to me, idiot.

9 Year Old Son Jokes More 9 Year Old Son Jokes

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

What do you call an egg that cures cancer?

A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son.