Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl?

Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)

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Who does Batman call when he needs to cool down his expensive drinks?

The Just-Ice League.

What's your favorite medical joke?

I've memorized a lot of jokes from a previous "doctor joke" thread, and need some fresh material!

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?

The Mercedes can easily reach 40.

What's the difference between a conservative priest and a progressive priest?

A progressive priest will give you a reach around.

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Why don't you buy Ukrainian underwear?

Because cher-nob'll fall out

How do you sell a deaf guy a frog?

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A FROG? rip.

Soda Jokes More Soda Jokes

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

What kind of soda do dogs drink?

Barq's Root Beer.

Receipt Jokes More Receipt Jokes

What did the police officer say to the white man running away with a TV?

Sir, you dropped your receipt!"

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Wad Jokes More Wad Jokes

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?

They prefer cash.

When should you charge a battery?

A: When you can't pay cash.