What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

How do you stop being an 18 year old Virgin?

Turn 19

Why was Jesus not born in Australia?

Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

How are bad dubstep and constipation similar?

Both leave you waiting for the drop.

What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops?

Justin Bieber gets jealous.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?

With a track-tor!

Why did the programmer die in the shower?

He followed the shampoo instructions.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?

Pessimist Prime

What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's?

Baby's because you can use a pitchfork

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

a washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around

2 Week Jokes More 2 Week Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker