Washing Machine Jokes

Why is the washing machine so grumpy?

It keeps getting agitated

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Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What's yellow and goes around?

A banana in the washing machine.

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it.

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?

Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.

Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around

Whats the difference between a hippy chick and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in, it doesn't follow you around for 6 months trying to get spun. 8)

What's the difference between a blond and a washing machine?

When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.

Why are almost all brides dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the washing machine

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What did the libertarian shirt say when it was thrown into the washing machine?

AM I BEING DE-STAINED?!

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

You can throw your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for two weeks afterward

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

a washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

You don't have to hug a washing machine half an hour after it finishes

What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

What is agitated buy joyful?

A washing machine

What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week.

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

What do you do when your washing machine breaks down?

Give her a slap

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ?

Sister Matic !

What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

What's grey and goes round and round ?

An elephant in a washing machine !

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

i'm serious... help.

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What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat?

A bigger target.

Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer?

Because he had been told to ice it.

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What is love?

Baby don't hurt me.

What did the Chili's waitress say about her kidnapped daughter?

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.

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What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster's primal urge is to cluck defiance.

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What kind of music do balloons hate the most?

Pop music.

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

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What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch?

Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals.

What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A half hour of begging.

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What washes up on tiny beaches?

Microwaves.

2 Week Jokes More 2 Week Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a Redditor is European?

Don't worry, he'll tell you

How do know if the person that you have just met is a DJ?

They will tell you.