Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why are you crying Ted ?

asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'

Who's there Boo!! Boo who?

Don't cry, it's only a joke

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did John Wayne get a weiner dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggy.

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ?

A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's a monsters favorite desert?

I-Scream!

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

How does Justin Beiber remove a condom?

He farts.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What does a blonde make best for dinner?

A: Reservations.

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians were black?

Because they never dig up daddies.

Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?

Because their daddies were mummies.

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

Why do horses make terrible congressmen?

Because they can only say "neigh!" I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary.

What's really important to a bat when they are looking for a new home?

Echo-location, location, location (Replace "bat" with "zubat" if you wish.)

Yay Jokes More Yay Jokes

What noise does a ceiling fan make?

GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!