Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why do Russians always wear track suits?

Because they are always RUSSIAN to places. thanks

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme. Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

I need some space.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why did he cross back?

So he could charge the client for travel expenses.

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Where do Crows hang out on friday night?

The crow bar.

What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

What did the corn chip say to the battery?

If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.

Cellphone Jokes More Cellphone Jokes

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.