Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do u say?

SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between America and Saudi Arabia?

You don't need a computer to play minesweeper in Saudi Arabia. (I'm not sorry)

What do diapers and politicians have in common?

They both need to be changed after a while for the same reason

End Jokes More End Jokes

What do you call a software developer who's also a gynecologist?

Front-end

What does a novice woodworker have in common with a constipated woodworker?

In the end, both are lucky to produce a stool.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

He was wanted for several charges of battery

What was he charged with?

Indie-cent exposure.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail?

A foot long

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries

How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday?

It's already run out of battery.

Cellphone Jokes More Cellphone Jokes

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

What did the lawyers say when they finished their basketball game?

Court is adjourned

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.