Court Jokes

Why was the photo acquitted in his trial at court?

Because he was framed!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did the lawyers say when they finished their basketball game?

Court is adjourned

What do lawyers wear to court?

Law suits!

How did he get off?

It wouldn't stand up in court

What do you call a basketball that rolls off court and deflates?

Out of bounce.

What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court?

He was charged with battery.

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Why did the tear testify in court?

Because he was an eye wetness.

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Who represents a Ghost in court?

A Paralegal.

Why was the electrolytic solution taken to court?

It was charged with a salt.

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

What do most people wear to court?

Law-suits

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...

What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people?

The NBA.

What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket?

He got off on a technicality

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

Odor in the court!!!

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

Why are burglars such good tennis players ?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

Who's there ! Althea ! Althea who ?

Althea in court!

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?

Odour in court!

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?

Answer: Odor Odor in the court!!!

What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises?

He lost his hearing.

Why'd the chicken cross the court?

Because he heard the ref was blowin' fowels..

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away?

Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit.

Lucas Jokes More Lucas Jokes

What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?

Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.

Why do the English drink warm beer?

Lucas refrigerators.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

What did the police say to the man who wouldn't go to sleep?

He's resisting a rest!"

What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight?

There ain't no rest for the wicked

Frame Jokes More Frame Jokes

What did the painting on the wall say to the cop?

I've been framed!

Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum?

Too many frames.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why was the gymnast disqualified?

He walked into a bar.

How do you walk a dog with no legs?

You don't, you pick it up.

Skunk Jokes More Skunk Jokes

How can you tell when a skunk is angry?

It raises a stink!

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and green?

A skunk rolling down a hill with a pickle in its mouth.

Deflate Jokes More Deflate Jokes

Why is your blow up doll half deflated?

She was getting a little heavy.."

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

What do you do if you're lost in an Icelandic forest?

Stand up!