When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the mad cow say to the other cow?

You don't want beef with me

What does a redneck and yeast have in common?

They are both "in-bread" Downvote me to hell if you want. This is my only joke.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How much do used batteries cost?

Nothing, they are free of charge.

Why is it expensive to be a criminal?

Because the police charge you.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What did the hot dog vendor say at the World Trade Center?

Who ordered the two jumbos?!"

Why are you ordering so many drinks?

The dog responds, "I've had a ruff day."

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

What do you call tossing a Hawaiian's salad?

Pacific rim

What is the similarity between women and garbagebags?

You fill them up and toss them out the door!

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

How do you turn soup into gold?

You add 24 carats!

What's this fly doing in my soup?

The waiter responds, "The backstroke."

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

Why shouldn't ISIS be destroying ancient Mesopotamian buildings?

Because it's frowned upon in Islam to smoke ziggurats.

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

How do you know your waitress is having a rough night?

She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pen.