Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What drove the British mystery fan insane?

He lost his Marples.

What is something we all lost?

The Game

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!

How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this?

Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why does Caitlyn Jenner feel like her kids see though her?

I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through

How did the domestic goods feel when they were being shipped overseas?

Tarrif-ied.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one to hold it in place while the rest of Europe runs circles around it.

What's the difference between a dog and a cyclist?

When you run over a dog you don't have to go back and get the GoPro.

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles?

A. Electricity.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

How many successive 'ands' can you fit into a sentence with it still making sense?

The landlord at The Dog And Duck pub needed a new sign to hang above the door, so he contacted his signwriter. The signwriter arrived a week later with the new sign, hung it above the door, and asked the landlord what he thought. The landlord replied with, "I like it. However, I do feel that there should be bigger spaces between ' ' and ' ', and ' ' and ' '".

Dolphin Jokes More Dolphin Jokes

What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?

Dolphout

What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink?

Serving dual porpoises!

Porpoise Jokes More Porpoise Jokes

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

Why was the dolphin depressed?

He felt he had no porpoise in life