Dolphin Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

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Why was the dolphin sad?

Because it had no porpoise in life.

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin with agoraphobia?

endorphins

What did the dolphin say to the frog?

Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.

Why did the dolphin get a fair trial?

Because Habeas Porpoise.

Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?

Dolphout

What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle?

Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise."

Why was the dolphin depressed?

He felt he had no porpoise in life

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

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What did the dolphin say when three orcas swam by?

Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here? Please, this is a cry for help.

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

He didn't see a porpoise...

What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink?

Serving dual porpoises!

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

I didn't do it on Porpoise!!"

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a dolphin caught in a net?

It's not a too-nah!"

Why was the dolphin so upset with the attendance of his drunken kegger?

It lacked porpoise.

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?

Because he ate too many crabs!

Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed?

The sharks life lacked porpoise.

What is a Dolphins favorite ingredient?

All porpoise flour.

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

A: I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

What do the dolphins and the post office have in common?

Neither deliver on Sundays.

Why are dolphins all friends with each other?

They just click you know

How do dolphins send messages?

By sea-mail.

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?

He whale-d

How do Dolphins live their lives?

With a porpoise.

Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments?

Because they were for test porpoise only

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

Hey! You did that on porpoise!"

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ?

He prawned everything !

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

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What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles?

Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads.

What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle?

Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise."

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming?

Aqua-Vlad

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How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?

A. They were really put out.

What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with Herpes have in common?

They all "Feel The Burn!"

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense ?

You are the banner of my existence.

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

Wild Jokes More Wild Jokes

How do you spot a cheetah in the wild?

You don't, they're already spotted!

How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one?

The domesticated doesnt have balls

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's brightly coloured and looks good on raver kids?

Fire.

Why Looking So Crabby This Morning?

I Just Found Out I Have Cancer...

Whale Jokes More Whale Jokes

Why did the whale have to go see his doctor?

His diet was krill-in him.

What's worse than a whale with a sore tooth?

When you go to kiss your grandma goodbye and she slips you the tongue.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What did the banana say to the hippo?

Nothing bananas can't talk.