Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

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What do lesbians use to get on top of a building?

A scissor lift.

Why did the bumble bee have sticky fur?

Because he used a honey comb.

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

What did the Banana say to the Monkey?

Yo You peel me

What's the difference between a banana and a helicopter?

You can helicopter your banana but you can't banana your helicopter

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What did the hotel clerk tell the guest with paruresis during check in?

Your in 8.

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Check your privilege, sithlord

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

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It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

How can you tell if a fencer is a redditor?

By how often he ripostes.

How can you tell if someone's a redditor,in real life?

Ask them if they're on reddit. I'm sorry.

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What did the SI7 Agent say to a piece of bread in a costume?

Heh, disguised toast.

What's so lame about a duck President?

Pieces of bread, quacking, getting into all types of duck antics in the Oval Office! I'm game!

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

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Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What do you call a fruit that is a vegetable?

A crippled homo.

Which fruit can never get married?

Melons, because they can'telope.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

What do you call a Mexican that won't get on a scale?

A no weigh Jose.

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE