2x4 Jokes

What do Jesus and Muhammad have in common?

They both nailed a 2x4.

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What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

What was the allergic 2"X4"'s terrifying hallucination?

He sawdust.

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Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

nail the other hand to the floor.

What is Jesus's go-to pickup line?

Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did Jesus feel after the last supper?

A bit cross.

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What time of day is the saddest?

The mourning

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

What can an elevator do that a black man can't?

Raise a family.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Why did Ibuprofen miss his friends?

Because Paracetamol on fire.

Muhammad Jokes More Muhammad Jokes

What do you call a rich Arab man?

Profit Muhammad.

What do you call a surfer who loves Muhammad?

A radicalized Muslim braaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why are shopaholics in the UK generally very skinny?

Because they are always losing pounds.

Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.