Abe Lincoln Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?"

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed ?!?!?"

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

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Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

How much did the critic tip the waitor?

two cents

Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln?

Because he was always in a cent.

Free Jokes More Free Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a two week drunk?

I freed what

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one?

CuNO3!

Where does Max Planck go for a night out?

To the h-bar

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What do you get when you put 28 Alabama Sorority girls in one room?

A full set of teeth

What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland?

Paddy O' Furniture

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What should you do if a bird poos on your car?

Don't ask her out again

What did the wall ask the picture?

All together now!) ***"How's it hangin' "*** Skip

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What broke?

opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! parenting from the bathroom

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did the bear say to the judge?

I bearly touched her.

Why must judges learn to spell well?

A: They must follow the letter of the law.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do horses drink at the bar?

Chardon-neigh

Why don't women drink beer at the beach?

Because they'll get sand in their Schlitz.