Abe Lincoln Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?"

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed ?!?!?"

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call a T-Rex that's been weightlifting all day?

Dino-sore

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

When I get a prescription for drugs, I don't ask, Will it work?

Are there any side effects ' No, it's Can I drink with these '

Free Jokes More Free Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a two week drunk?

I freed what

How did the turtle with no arms and no legs cross the freeway?

Here's a hint: take the F out of Free and take the F out of Way

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did one Muslim say to another in a supermarket?

Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour... ...And then the building exploded.

What did you say?

Me: Judge Did you just reverse my sentence *Stage dives into cheering jury*

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

What do ladies-of-the-night do when in their garden?

They hoe it.

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland?

Paddy O' Furniture

Why could Don Juan always pick up girls in his car?

It was electric. Also, the car had a set of hands.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Why does jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

How do Malaysian airlines serve all their drinks?

On the rocks

What do refugees drink?

Foreignade.