Agnostic Insomniac Jokes

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, insomniac and a dyslexic?

Someone who lies awake at night if there really is a dog.

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What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

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Why couldn't Pikachu read his book?

Because he was dyslectric.

How do you annoy a Worldnews redditor?

Comment after reading the article.

Contemplate Jokes More Contemplate Jokes

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

Why was the cab driver contemplating his life?

Because he had nothing to chauffeur.

Infinite Jest Jokes More Infinite Jest Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

What does a successful CS:GO bettor spend the money on?

Vacation.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why have all these complete strangers started to poke around outside my window?

A: They wanna peek-a-chu.

When's the best time of day to start a diet?

4:00 For:Klock

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How do you guys feel about that new drug-resistant superbug?

It makes me sick.

What did the guy who got fired for always being late say?

It was just a matter of time.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

How to tell the difference between a bad, a good and an excellent accountant ?

When you ask them "2+2 is ?":

What's the best part of an asynchronous dog?

It's non barking! Hopefully some software people get this one

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When did the Chinese man know it was time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty

Why did the late man stand on the clock?

He wanted to be on time.