Amazon Prime Jokes

Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime?

They get free two-day shipping.

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Whats the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon prime.

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

What does Wonder Woman call foreplay?

Amazon Prime.

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Whores?

Derivatives

Whats the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon prime.

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Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup?

Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!

What's faster than a black man dodging cops with a TV?

His brother with the laptop.

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What do you call it when Wonder Woman does too many drugs?

Heroine overdose

What did Wonder Woman tell The Flash when he saw that he was greying?

I still find you dashing"

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What do mathematicians use to get fast delivery?

Amazon'

Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime?

They get free two-day shipping.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair?

Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

Prime Rib Jokes More Prime Rib Jokes

What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

What is the first derivative of a cow?

A prime rib.

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Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Why is Michael Jordan's Jersey number 23?

Because then he will always be in prime.