Contract Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

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How do blind people sign contracts?

On the dotted line.

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What deadly disease can bowls contract?

Ebowla

Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

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Ebowla Jokes More Ebowla Jokes

What a plates scared off?

Ebowla.

What do you call an electronic bowl?

Ebowla

Contraction Jokes More Contraction Jokes

Why was the pregnant woman screaming "wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!"?

She was having contractions.

What was the favorite food of the thrifty Italian who loved contractions?

A pasta free.

Clap Jokes More Clap Jokes

How do you make an orphans hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until daddy gets home

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

What's a bear without an ear?

A b

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees. (Not sure if this one translates well to english)

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions?

An emo-g

Whats the world weakest animal ?

A toad he croaks if you even touch him !

Favorite Food Jokes More Favorite Food Jokes

What's a astronauts favorite food?

Lays, because they are full of air.

What was the favorite food of the thrifty Italian who loved contractions?

A pasta free.

Std Jokes More Std Jokes

What kind of STD does a bird get?

Chirpies. :-)

What's the worst STD you can get from a black man?

Pregnancy.

Sle Jokes More Sle Jokes

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?

Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.