Contract Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How do blind people sign contracts?

On the dotted line.

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What deadly disease can bowls contract?

Ebowla

Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

You might also enjoy:

Enter Jokes More Enter Jokes

Why does a VC always enter a room backwards?

To keep an eye on the exit

Why did the alarm go off at the mansion?

Because the owner entered the correct code.

Aids Jokes More Aids Jokes

What is the hardest part about your wife telling you she has AIDS?

Acting surprised.

What turns a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

What do you call fifty blondes lined up ear-to-ear?

A: A wind tunnel. #ThugLyfe

What do you call a pie who made his own ears?

A pioneer

Sle Jokes More Sle Jokes

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Deadly Disease Jokes More Deadly Disease Jokes

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

What deadly disease can bowls contract?

Ebowla

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What kind of beast is it you hear?

A duck. ... with hiccups.

Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream?

She was wearing mittens.

Dot Line Jokes More Dot Line Jokes

Why are we running so fast?

asked one. "Because" said the second "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"

Where does Daredevil sign contracts?

On the dotted line. *Revised from an earlier attempt.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Who is that Idiot..?

If Boy is in love - His parent Ask: Idiot, Who is that Girl.. Moral :: No matter who ever is in love... Boys Are Always Idiot :P (LOL)

What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

Spit, swallow, gargle.