Aids Jokes

Why is AIDS cooler than Forrest Gump?

Because AIDS gets the girl

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What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas?

AIDS

What do you get if you share your Earbuds with all your friends?

Hearing AIDS.

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a monkey?

AIDS for humanity

Whats the worst thing about being dyslexic and having ADHD?

You think you've got AIDS

What did the little boy say to the priest?

Haha, now we have AIDS

What's the worst part about getting AIDS?

Having to tell your friend his kids should get tested.

What is the difference between Courtney Love and a porcupine?

A porcupines needle won't give you AIDS

What's the best thing about AIDS?

You're always positive

What is the hardest part about your wife telling you she has AIDS?

Acting surprised.

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How did the tugboat get AIDS?

It was rear-ended by a ferry.

What's the gift that keeps on giving?

AIDS

What turns a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

What do you call someone with herpes, AIDS, syphilis and gonorrhea?

An incurable romantic.

What is the difference between a poker card and Africa?

The sooner is the Ace of Spades and the latter, a Space of AIDS.

What's the name of the virus that causes AIDS?

Are you positive

What does a Drake fan with AIDS get tattooed on his back?

If you're reading this it's too late.

What's worse than AIDS?

Beads.

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How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?

A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

100 Certainty Jokes More 100 Certainty Jokes

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

How many chameleons are in the room with you right now?

You can never answer this question with 100% certainty.

Phelp Jokes More Phelp Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Contract Jokes More Contract Jokes

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Std Jokes More Std Jokes

What's in an STD salad?

green pees

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck an ear.

How can you tell someone is a true music lover?

A: When they even put their ear up to the bathroom keyhole.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What's the Difference between a Girl and a Woman?

Prison

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

Magic Johnson Jokes More Magic Johnson Jokes

How did the cheerleader get magic AIDS?

A Magic Johnson.

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel-chair?

Roll-AIDS*