Golf Course Jokes

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How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

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What do you call a Russian on a golf course?

Vladimir Puttin'

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

They always turn out to be sub par.

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

What do you call a dog with a stain on his fur?

Spot. What do you call a dog who lays on a golf course Ruff. What do you call a dog who just got run over Rhody.

Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

How are 6 women like a golf course?

NSFW 18 holes

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between a Mexican joke and a black joke?

Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal

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You dye a little on the inside.

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How do like really laid-back types answer the phone?

Mellow.

What's the difference between a Redditor and an egg?

Eggs get laid only once

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How do you call a car designed for midgets?

Half a Romeo. I'll show myself out.

What's the difference between a regular product and a fancy one?

The regular one says "Made in China". The fancy one says "Designed in the USA. Made in China."

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Why did the Crimean run across the Street?

Because he was Russian

What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically?

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What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?

If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again

What do you call it when you're run over by a German?

Hunover.