Hole Jokes

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How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

The Best Worst Dad Jokes: All the Puns, Quips, and Wisecracks You Need to Torment Your Kids

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Why do bald men cut holes in there pockets?

To run their hands through their hair

What is the worst type of doctor you can be?

gynecologist - because in the hole that the whole world is looking for pleasure, he's looking for problems.

What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?

One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here

Why do donuts have holes in the center?

Because the inventor of the donut wanted to give us a whole experience.

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke holes that it's often poked before?

A key.

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing?

You might get a hole in one.

What's the difference between 50 Cent and the Ozone Layer?

The Ozone layer doesn't benefit from having holes in them.

Why did the golfer wear two pants?

He got a hole in one

What do you call a shooting at a Mexican golf course?

A hole in Juan

Jokes for Kids: The Best Jokes, Riddles, Tongue Twisters, Knock-Knock jokes, and One liners for kids: Kids Joke books ages 7-9 8-12

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What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key.

What do you call it when the bull impales the bullfighter?

A hole in Juan!

Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

Why did kurt pull the trigger?

He couldn't get hole out of his head

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?

One has hope in her soul, The other has soap in her hole.

How does the stork bring babies?

It pokes holes in condoms.

What smells of cheese and is filled with holes?

About 100 French people right now

How do you get out?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two half's make a whole, go through the hole.

What's red, white, and full of holes?

Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork.

No Pun Intended (The Last of Us Joke Books)

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How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

Why did the Golfer feel aladeen about his socks ?

He had a hole in one.

Why does a honeymoon only last 7 days?

Because 7 days makes a hole weak

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?

What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit Hole?

A Hot Cross Bunny

Why do all the best golfers keeping buying socks?

They get a hole in one!

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

Why do some loudspeakers have holes?

For the pleasure of the audiophiles.

What did Courtney Love say before shooting Kurt Cobain?

Hole is going to be huge!

What do you call a boat with a hole?

A sink.

The Book Of Terribly Awesome Dad Jokes

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What travels down an alley and has holes in it?

A bowling ball. Or Bruce Wayne's parents.

Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants?

Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to

What would Triple H and Jenna Jameson's adult film be called?

The Piledriver: No Holes Barred

What's white, digs holes in your garden and helps with headaches?

A paracetamole!

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?

In case he got a hole in one.

What has two holes and smells a lot?

Your nose

Why did the golfer wear a extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why don't they drill holes in golf clubs?

Cause then there would be a hole in one!

What do you call it when a golfer misses the hole?

Fore-play

What's black and full of holes?

Michael Brown

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden?

By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage

What do you call it when you use Icy Hot as lube?

Fire in the hole!

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

Why is a bear brown?

Because he crawls in his hole during winter.

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It goes through your pants without even making a hole.

Why did the golfer take a spare pair of trousers with him?

Incase he got a hole in one!

What did Courtney Love say before she shot Kurt?

Hole is gonna be huge."

What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath?

One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole

How do you drown a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

How do you get a polar bear in the water?

First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!

Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs?

In case he gets a hole-in-one

What do you call a man in a hole?

Phil.

Why did the golfer wear 2 shirts when he went golfing?

In case he got a hole-in-one!

What do you call a black brick with three holes in it?

A polish bowling ball.

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.

How did the pirate fix the hole in his pants?

He used an eyepatch

What's the difference between 6 inches and 12 inches?

6 inches makes you day but 12 inches can make your hole weak.

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket?

Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Why do married men love golf so much?

Because it's not the same three holes over and over again.

Why should honeymoons only last six days?

Because seven days makes a hole weak.

What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes?

He was just a nerdy digger.

What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!

Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?

Incase he gets a hole in one

How do you know you're golfing with a politician?

When they get a hole-in-one they write down *zero* on the scorecard.

Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms?

Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen.

Why do men like golf so much?

It makes it possible for them to go from hole to hole with an iron in their hands.

What did the three holes in the ground say?

Well, well, well My grandpa's favorite joke. Took me five years to get it.

What did you have on the wings of your plane?

Holes mostly..."

Why women fail at saving money?

Have you ever seen a money-box (piggy bank) with a hole at the bottom...

What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole

What do you get when you shoot a Mexican golfer?

A hole in Juan

What did the dentist say to the golfer?

You have a hole in one. "

What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle ?

A polo bear !

How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?

Four. One to cut the hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha

How do you trap an elephant?

You first dig a hole, second, you fill the hole with ashes, also throw some peas in there. When the elephant stops to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole.

What is the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub?

Answer: One has hope in her soul the other has soap in her hole.

What is long and likes to pry in a hole?

A key.

What does Sean Connery's nemesis and the crater of a volcano have in common?

They're both ash-holes.

Why did the golfer need to buy a new pair of socks?

Because he got a hole in one!

What do you find in an alley that has holes in it?

M-my parents " "No! A bowling ball! I'm so sorry..."

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.

What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?

A Moles Royce.

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

The woman in church has hope in her soul... The woman In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What is the digestive system?

The digestive system is a system which starts with one hole and ends with one hole

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing?

In case he gets a hole in one.

What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a bath?

The nun has hope in her soul, and the woman has soap in her hole. EDIT: NSFW

This joke may have profanity.

What's the best part about golf?

It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.

Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

What the difference between a black guy and a donut?

One of them already had a hole before the cop saw it

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs... ...hanging on the wall?

Art ...floating in the sea Bob ...laying on the floor Matt ...down in a hole Phil ...sitting in a pot Stu ...

What travels down an alley and is full of holes?

Batman's Parents.

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What's the best way to dispose of bodies?

Put the ashes in the donuts.

How Do Priests Get High?

Snorting the left over ashes from Ash Wednesday...

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Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

They always turn out to be sub par.

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What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

What did the Native American say when his dog fell of the cliff?

Dog gone!

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Why does an elephant have four feet?

Because he'd look pretty silly with four inches.

What do you do if your girlfriend is choking ?

Back up a few inches

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What is brown and screams?

Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron.

What's red and black and screaming all over?

Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron.

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Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

What would have to break to give you 18?

a condom

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How do you drown a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

How do you get a polar bear in the water?

First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is cosmetics?

ANSWER: Cosmetics is a woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.

Why is Santa Claus always a man?

Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion.