Grandpa Jokes

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

What does rock music and my grandpa have in common?

The Strokes

What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed?

Keep it up!

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

What do you call parents who teach abstinence only?

Grandma and grandpa.

Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?

Probably a tumor."

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

Why are you rushin'?

Too which I replied "Because my grandpa is from Moscow." Duh..

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

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What's the worst type of vegetable to bring on a boat?

Grandpa. :(

Why is grandpa running daddy?

Shut up son, and give me another shell.

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?

Grandma monster

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Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

Why can't Ewoks yell and scream in the house?

They have to use their Endor voices.

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)

Bucket Jokes More Bucket Jokes

How does a south central chicken cross the road?

In a bucket

What's red and looks like a bucket?

A: A red bucket.

Attachment Jokes More Attachment Jokes

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

Abstinence Jokes More Abstinence Jokes

How is God just like a regular man?

If you're not on your knees, he's not interested and you know what they say, abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers.

What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts?

Abstinence.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you do when your Apple device gets warm?

Ask apple to open the backdoor.

What is Santa's favorite type of cookie?

Ask your dad.

Denture Jokes More Denture Jokes

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What does TTYL mean?

I replied, "Talk to you later". So she responded, "No! Talk to me now! What does it mean "

What exactly is going on?

I asked. He replied, "A Major engineering feet."

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why was the Police Officer still in bed?

Because he was .

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.