Hebrew Jokes

How does Moses makes his coffee?

Hebrews it.

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How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews

What did Jesus say to Peter?

Hebrew

Which US national park is most welcoming to Hebrews?

Yosemite!

What did the drunkard say when he walked into an Israeli bar?

Hebrews?

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi?

Hebrew".

How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews!

What do you call a man that brews beer?

A Hebrew.

What did the Hebrew's call it when they stopped receiving mana every morning?

mana-pause

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Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade?

Drill drill drill.

How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

Israeli Jokes More Israeli Jokes

What did the Germans name the Israeli Submarine?

Das Jude

How do Israeli skiiers greet each other?

Shlalom! (Oy, that's terrible.)

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

What did the priest have to say?

He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do a Boston Marathon runner and Jesus have in common?

Nails in their hands and feet

What did Jesus say to Mohammed...?

What did Jesus say to Mohammed 'I died for you' What did Mohammed say in return 'How many did you take with you '

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did the dinosaur walk on two legs?

To give the ants a chance.

How many performance artists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know either, I walked out early too.

Receive Jokes More Receive Jokes

How do gangsters receive communications?

Gmail

What does a Greek say when he receives his salary?

Danke schon.

Moses Jokes More Moses Jokes

What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

Because he Ramparts the red sea each month

Brew Jokes More Brew Jokes

How do bunny rabbits like their beer brewed?

With lots of hops!

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!