Moses Jokes

How does Moses makes his coffee?

Hebrews it.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews

Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?

Because he was in de-nile

How did Moses feel after falling for a craigslist scam?

Egypt.

What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

Because he Ramparts the red sea each month

How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

How does Moses get his coffee?

He buys it from Starbucks...

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How did Moses part the Red Sea?

He used a Sea-saw.

How did Moses make his coffee?

Hebrewed it.

How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews!

Why doesn't Moses buy beer?

He brews it.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door?

Let my peephole grow!

What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst?

God Dam It!

How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrewed it

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.

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Red Sea Jokes More Red Sea Jokes

What happens when you throw a green stone into the Red Sea?

It gets wet.

Why did the Red sea not find a good husband?

because she was too shallow.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why does John Cena always take awhile to feel better when he's sick?

Because the Doctor can never see him.

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Upset Jokes More Upset Jokes

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Why shouldn't you have coffee while on the clock?

Because that would be "grounds" for termination!

Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee?

Neither. It's a Thai.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm?

Washed a Ton State. I woke up with that joke in my head this morning. My brain is weird. Had to share it with someone.

What did the fire say the morning of his birthday?

I'm stoked!

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What do Canadians drink when the beer is all gone?

Hard eh.

What can I get you ?

Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Man: Yes, justice for Harambe.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why is there only women's studies in college, but not men's?

Because we call men's studies history.

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?

Hey we have a toot in common.

What do you call an Egyptian with a gastrological disorder?

Toot Uncommon.