Israeli Jokes

What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

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How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

What do you call the Israeli PM when he switches search engines?

Benjamin Netangoogle

How do Israeli skiiers greet each other?

Shlalom! (Oy, that's terrible.)

What did the drunkard say when he walked into an Israeli bar?

Hebrews?

What did the Germans name the Israeli Submarine?

Das Jude

Why does it take so long to play Israeli sports?

Because all the replays are in shlomo.

What do you call an Israeli rooster?

A koke.

What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?

A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.

What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word "and" say about candy that caused such a hubbub?

Mike Ike's are my least favorite.

What's an Israeli ghetto called?

Palestine.

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What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut?

Menachem Vegan

What's the difference between an Israeli terrorist and a woman with PMS?

You can reason with the terrorist!

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why don't skeletons play music in church?

Because they got no organs.

What do you call a Steer playing with itself?

Beef Stroganoff

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the teacher cross her eyes?

Because she couldn't control her pupils.

Why did the chicken cross the state line?

He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What's another word for a face tattoo?

An everlasting jobstopper.

What's the magic word?

Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off

Israelite Jokes More Israelite Jokes

What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

Offer Jokes More Offer Jokes

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

Why are Russians so heartless?

Because organ traders offer good price.

Moses Jokes More Moses Jokes

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!

How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrewed it

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How do you greet an overweight Micronesian when you're trying to sound cool?

Microsoft Word.

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

Switch Jokes More Switch Jokes

What do you call a Mormon who switches religion?

A mormoff!

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.