Hollywood Jokes

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

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Why does Hollywood loveee to hire British Actors?

Cheap labor.

What's a Chinese fisherman's least favorite part of living in Hollywood?

Pilot season

Which director is Hollywood's darling?

Michael Bae

What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver" :P

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why is Hollywood full of vampires?

They need someone to play the bit parts.

How Do they say "F**k You" in Hollywood?

Trust Me..."

Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood?

Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblrinlinentae7hsEL21tw80r81280.jpg

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.

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Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

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Cagey Jokes More Cagey Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why is it so hard to get to know Guantanamo Bay detainees?

Because they're too cagey.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of music do Irish people listen to?

Pubstep

What type of people can you not stand?

People in wheelchairs

Amp Jokes More Amp Jokes

What do Leonardo DiCaprio &amp anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common?

Their odds of winning are the same

What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR &amp?

a STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why would he put that on a resume?

Oh. My. God. You're hired."

Why did the company hire the glutton?

Because he was a ate professional!

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Why do we call lady parts beavers?

Because they devour wood.

Who's there ! Ankansas ! Ankansas who ?

Ankansas though any piece of wood !

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

What appears over black man's head when he has an idea?

A fried Chicken leg

What are the keys made of?

Me Uhh.. Rhino appears behind me Tell him Kyle

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What do you call an ape that's both extremely frugal and fearful?

A cheap pansy

Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?

They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!