Jeremy Clarkson Jokes

What was Jeremy Clarkson on during Top Gear?

SPEEEED!

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What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common?

They both used to be on top gear.

What do Whitney Houston and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on Top Gear.

Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine?

Because they'd been floored by his punch.

What do you get when you minus Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear...?

A smile !

What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number?

Nought two sixty.

What does Jeremy Clarkson have in common with Amy Winehouse?

He can't do 'top gear' anymore!

What do Amy Winehouse and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on top gear.

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Amy Winehouse Jokes More Amy Winehouse Jokes

What do Amy Winehouse and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on top gear.

What does Jeremy Clarkson have in common with Amy Winehouse?

He can't do 'top gear' anymore!

Gear Jokes More Gear Jokes

What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common?

They both used to be on top gear.

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why do blondes smile when it's lightning?

A. Because, they think they are having their picture taken.

Why are goldfish crackers always smiling?

Because they're baked..

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

What's the last sound you hear before a pube hits the floor?

tppppthh...."spit sound"

Pin Jokes More Pin Jokes

What time is it when you sit on a pin?

Spring time.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you call an old person trying to fit in with today's kids?

A dislocated hipster.

Why did the idiot drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff?

He wanted to try out his new air brakes.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

How do you break a Polish man's finger?

Punch him in the nose.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why didn't the panda use a glove when playing baseball?

Because he caught everything bear handed!

What do you with 365 used rubbers?

Turn it into a tire and call it a goodyear.