July Jokes

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July !

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What do FBI agents grill for the 4th of July?

Hillary.

What does a pirate light on the Fourth of July?

A m80.

How do you stop a dog from barking in July?

Shoot him in June.

When is a rabbi dishonest?

July

What's brown, sticky and runs down your leg?

Chocolate Ice Cream in July!

What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?

That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community. Haha, happy late 4th of July.

What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters?

Christmas in July

What's a holocaust denier's favorite month?

July

What do the 12th of July and the end of an essay have in common?

They're both summary!

Why did the hipster complain about winter in July?

He wanted to do it before it was cool.

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What do they do for the 4th of July in England?

Sulk.

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Fourth Jokes More Fourth Jokes

What's the fourth derivative called?

Inauguration. Why Change of jerk.

What do you call the fourth musketeer if he's gone to the dark side?

Darth-tagnan

United States Jokes More United States Jokes

What happens when you take a joke too far?

The 45th President of the United States of America.

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Community Jokes More Community Jokes

What do you call an Optomitrist who is very highly thought of in his community?

Respectacle

Why was the Amish girl kicked out of her community?

Too Mennonite

Freedom Ring Jokes More Freedom Ring Jokes

Why doesn't America knock?

Because freedom rings

Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about freedom?

Because freedom rings. Bazinga!

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a dog with no legs and metal balls?

Sparky.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?

Bob

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

Why is Hillary running for President?

Because it's easier than running from the law.

What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures Edit: credit to Joe Biggs rambobiggs

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why do black people play basketball?

Because it teaches them how to shoot, run and steal.

What is logic?

A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.

Rabbi Jokes More Rabbi Jokes

Why did the Rabbi stop buying beer?

Hebrewed his own

Why must rabbits never miss dinner?

With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.