Makeup Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why are Astronauts seen as condescending?

Because all they do is look down at people.

Why is that Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for?

Because he's always standing by The Edge.

America Jokes More America Jokes

What will the presidential candidate for the next election choose as his/her campaign motto?

Make America good again."

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why did (do?

cavemen drag their women by the hair if the dragged them by their feet they'd fill up with mud.

What do women and dog turds have in common?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Clog Jokes More Clog Jokes

What are a plumber's favorite shoes?

Clogs

What are a plumbers least favorite kind of shoe?

Clogs.

Soccer Player Jokes More Soccer Player Jokes

Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant?

Because he was Messi

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!"

Autobot Jokes More Autobot Jokes

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!

Which Way Do Transformers Put The Toilet Paper?

Autobots Roll Out!

Asia Jokes More Asia Jokes

Who's there ! Asia ! Asia who ?

Asia mum in

What do they call Snoop Dogg in Asia?

Snoop Dinner

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Who takes the best selfies in LA?

I need someone good to do mine.

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.