Marry Man Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What disease does a married man have?

onejina

What's the worst they could say? No?

I'm a married man, I hear no at least two times a week.

Why does the army want to only recruit married men?

Because they don't want a man lost!

Why do married men love golf so much?

Because it's not the same three holes over and over again.

Why do single men live longer than married men?

Because they want to.

You might also enjoy:

Wedding Day Jokes More Wedding Day Jokes

What did the mittens say on their wedding day?

I glove you.

What is something long and hard that a Polish Bride gets on her wedding day?

A last name.

Prime Mate Jokes More Prime Mate Jokes

What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

His prime-mate!

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke

Luck Jokes More Luck Jokes

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

Old Joke Jokes More Old Joke Jokes

What's the most oldest joke in the world?

The human race.

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

Recruit Jokes More Recruit Jokes

How did the Royal Navy attract so many recruits?

They were impressive!

How many recruits does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five. One to change the lightbulb and four road guards.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What is the best way to stop a politician?

A really strong gust of wind.

What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ?

Don't bite any witches !

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Why do melons have traditional marriages?

Because they cantaloupe

Why do melons always have traditional weddings?

They cantaloupe.

Ugly Man Jokes More Ugly Man Jokes

What happened after the ugly man married the beautiful blonde?

They had a wedding reception.

What did the really ugly man do for a living ?

He posed for Halloween masks !