Monica Jokes

What did Monica say to Hillary before Election Day?

Don't blow it

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What do Hillary and Monica have in common?

They both blew it.

Why did Chandler play the blues as loud as he could?

He wanted to harm monica.

What would be funny about Hillary as president?

That she would be sitting at the desk that Monica once kneeled under!

How's Hillary's head?

He answers, "Well, she's no Monica!"

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call a Greek philosopher who plays hard to get?

A socra-tease Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

What's on at the cinema?

Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see.

How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

What do Asian people use as blindfolds?

Shoe laces.

What do you call an Asian Terrorist group?

Rice-is

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

What did 1 lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog?

They're right we do taste like chicken!

Blue Jokes More Blue Jokes

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

How do you make a buff guy talk to you for hours?

ask about his routine.

Vend Machine Jokes More Vend Machine Jokes

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

Leader Jokes More Leader Jokes

What is a monster's favourite game?

A: Swallow the leader.

What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US Leader