Asian Jokes

Why do white people rely on asians so much?

Because without them, they'd just be cauc.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why Newton laws were not from Asian countries?

Because they have durian...

Why are Asian women in the US so excited about next Tuesday?

It's Erection Day

This joke may have profanity.

What's the similarity between an Asian and Spongebob?

Both are yellow and can't drive.

What do you call an Asian lobster?

A crustasian

How can you tell you live in an Asian part of town?

All the Mexicans have car insurance.

Why are asians bad at football?

They are always going the Wong way.

What do you call a dizzy Asian?

Disoriented.

How does the Asian chef get to work?

He woks.

What do you call an Asian boy with downs?

Lo Mein. See you all in hell.

What do you call a confused Asian?

Disoriental.

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What do you call an Asian man with one leg?

Tai-Wan-Shu

What's the difference between racism and asians?

Racism has many faces.

How do you know that an Asian has robbed your house?

Your mailbox is missing!

What do you call an Asian that has an extra neutron?

A Riceotope

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Ilene What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene

What's black, white, asian, and mexican?

A lazy panda.

What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?

All they talk about is the presidential erection

What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre?

Ping Lo.

What is the weakest armour made out of?

Asian People

Why do asians squint all the time?

Because nukes are so bright

What do you call a perfect society formed by an Asian?

A Yutopia

What do you call a confused Asian person?

Disoriental.

What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

What do you call an Asian who's tolerable some of the time?

Occasionally (OK Asian Lee).

What do you call an emotionless Asian woman?

A rice queen!

What do you call an asian golddigger?

Cha Ching

Why did the asian man get arrested for stealing a Buick sedan?

It was a Regal

What do you call a lost Asian man?

Disoriental

What do you call an Asian who acts like he is black?

A ripe bananna

What do you call an explanation of an Asian cooking show?

A wok-through.

Who won the Asian cooking contest?

It was a Thai!

What do you call a well-endowed Asian man?

Hung Lo

What do you get when you mix a black and asian person?

A criminal mastermind ...

Why will there never be an Asian president?

Because the American people could never make it through the erection without raughing.

What's a neckbeard's favorite asian country?

M'Laysia

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian?

A car thief who can't drive

How do you blind an Asian?

Put a windshield in front of them

What do you call a black Asian bird?

Croatian.

What would you call Vanilla Ice if he was asian?

Yellow Snow.

What does an Asian get?

A broken nose.

What do Asian pirates do?

They fry pranes

Why do all Asian kids get straight A's?

Because the ones that don't are never heard from again. I'll be here all day folks.

What do you call an Asian driveby?

Cap-a-chino

What does an Asian chicken sound like?

Bok Bok Bok CHOY

What's an asian's favorite drug?

HERROine

What do you call an Asian person that is hit by a car?

Hood orient

What's an Asian's favorite time to go to the dentist?

tooth-hurty

Where does a one-legged woman work?

What's her name? Eileen If she's Asian what's her name? Irene /goingtohellforthis

What do you call a calm Asian?

A Mellow Yellow

What are Asian Tennis Players most well known for?

The Back Hand

What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other a crushed Asian.

What do you call an Asian man blowing another guy?

A Brojob.

What about Fergdudaughter?

Must have Asian parents.

What happens if an Asian gets stung by a bee?

Their GPA drops

How do you blindfold an Asian person?

You put floss over his eyes.

What kind of Asian dish takes away your freedoms?

Kung Pao Chicken

What do you call Asian quadruplets?

4chan

Why can't two Asian parents have a Caucasian baby?

Two Wongs don't make a white

What do you call an Asian who breaks a lot of wind?

Fa Ting

What did the Asian pirate do when he saw a crowd?

He fry through it!

Why don't asians like to applause?

Because every time they do all they do is crap

What are some good Asian jokes you know?

I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.

What do you tell someone from Moscow if he's in a hurry?

Q: What do you tell someone from Moscow who is in a hurry? A: Quit Russian. Q: What do you call a Mexican pessimist? A: A Mexican't Q: What do you call a German who is urinating in an alley? A: A you're a peein'. Q: What does an Asian person have if their leg joints are socially awkward? A: Shy knees. Q: What is a Parisian country cover band's favorite song to play? A: "I've got France in low places."

What does an Asian with the biggest erection get when he walks into a wall?

A broken nose.

Why can't Asian couples have a caucasian child?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

Why can't an Asian couple have a white child?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

What did the Asian guy say when he was caught sleeping with another man's wife?

Me love you wrong time.

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?

Irene

What do you call an Asian getting mugged?

Black and Yellow

What do you call a hairpiece on an Asian guy?

an Oriental Rug.

What do you call a one-legged asian woman?

Irene

What happens when you step on an oily asian?

Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope.

How do you blind fold an asian?

You put floss over their eyes!

Why has there never been an Asian president?

Because they are taken to the hospital if the election lasts more than 4 hours

What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend?

Disoriented.

Why can't Asian parents make a white baby?

Because two wongs don't make a white

What did the grad students call the new Asian post-doc?

The Yellow Fellow.

What's everyone's problem with euthanasia?

I like little asian kids

What is the cheapest way to blindfold an Asian?

Dental floss.

What is so bad about being half black and half asian?

You can steal a car but you can't drive it.

Why do asians got to the hospital after voting?

Everyone knows that you should see a doctor for an erection that last longer than 4 hours.

How do you describe a boring, Asian, black and white film?

Anti-chromactic

What do you call an Asian girl with Mexican parents?

Juana Sum Peeksa.

What do you call it when an Asian's imaginary friend dies?

Make-bereave

How often did the asian cow go to the gym?

Dairy

What do you call an asian walking a dog?

A vegetarian.

What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea?

A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy

What is the least racist animal?

A panda. It's black, it's white and it's Asian.

What do you call it when an Asian composer really needs the bathroom?

Rover Flows Out Of You.

How do you blindfold an Asian woman?

Put a windshield in front of her.

What did the asian parents call their retarded son?

Sum ting wong

How do you confuse an asian?

Put a steering wheel in front of them

What time does an Asian go to the dentist?

Toof Hurty.

What do you call a asian and a black guy??

A math problem.

How do you know if a guy has an asian wife?

He'll tell you.

What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes?

Xu wong

What do you call the process of becoming an honorary Asian?

Orientation.

What do you call an Asian lady with a Mixmaster on her head?

Brenda

Why do asians have such squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty bright.

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Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired?

he threw out the W's

What did the hungry boss give his worker?

Their celery!

Crush Jokes More Crush Jokes

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?

The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!

What's the worst thing about your girlfriend having a miscarriage?

Trying to look upset.

D Jokes More D Jokes

How do you get a woman from to be, to bed?

Give her the D.

Why did the man cry when he was cutting up onions?

Onions" was his dog... D:

White People Jokes More White People Jokes

Why can't white people hit the whip?

Because slavery is over

What do you call an elevator full of white people?

A box of crackers.

Rely Jokes More Rely Jokes

Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?

He dislikes poles polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words It hard :(

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

a rem job

Spongebob Jokes More Spongebob Jokes

Why couldn't Spongebob get a mortgage?

Because his house was underwater.

What do SpongeBob and LeBron James have in common?

They both hit the deck and flop like a fish.

School Jokes More School Jokes

What are you going to be when you get out of school?

An old man!

What do moths study at school?

Mothmatics